Regardless of what vocation (married, single, religious life or priest) your children are called to, families can play an important role in the process. It is important to openly discuss the fact that God calls everyone to a specific state of life. Parents need to explain the differences between the four states of life, and they must teach their children to be open to hearing God’s call.
Parents need to help their children understand the four states of life. They can point out how each state of life allows someone to live out their Catholic faith. Also, explaining the joys and challenges of each state — whether married, single, religious life or priesthood — can help kids have a clearer understanding of the nature of each role.
The priesthood is a sacred office in the church that involves walking with God’s people throughout life and includes delivering grace to the people of the Church through the sacraments.
Religious life is consecrated by a vow to the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity and obedience. Families can befriend priests and religious to allow their children to see firsthand these vocations.
If not called to the religious life or priesthood, a man or woman is called to the married life or chaste single life. Whatever state one is called to by God, he must pursue it as a stable form of life through which he can sanctify himself.
Explaining the sanctity of marriage, the role of sexual relations in married life and setting the story straight (compared to the current culture, social media, TV and movies) are part of the process. This conversation can also stimulate questions that challenge parents to better understand their state in life and their faith.
Parents must teach their children to be open to hearing God’s call. There are two primary challenges in today’s world to hearing God’s call to any vocation.
First, parents must be willing to open their hearts to the will of God. Parents create a vision of what they see their children doing and accomplishing. This includes schools they will attend, what degree and career they will pursue, who their future spouse may be, how many children they will have and where they will live.
Most times this is without consideration or prayer about what God has in store for their children. In these cases, they often don’t promote the idea of their children listening for God’s call, or if their child does hear a calling from God, the parent opposes it because it does not match the parent’s vision for their child’s life.
Second, our world is so noisy. It is difficult to hear any call of God. One must make a conscious effort to create or seek out quiet. It is necessary to get away from our phones, TV, social media and other worldly distractions. This only happens when there is an active effort to create an environment conducive to listening. Families can create this environment in their house by setting aside family prayer time or quiet time. Another option is to get to Mass early or stay late. This may only be 10 or 15 minutes, but it is quiet time that does not exist for the rest of the week.
The family will always play an important role in discerning vocations. Unfortunately, parental involvement is often on either end of the spectrum — from completely uninvolved (“They will figure it out” or “It is totally up to them”) to forced compliance (“You will be married and become an engineer”).
An active role in seeking vocations is necessary in the family, but it should be a healthy involvement that encourages thought, prayer and questions/answers. Parents need to explain the four states of life (married, single, religious life or priest) and teach their children to be open to hearing God’s call through active listening.
Father Martin Linebach is the Archdiocese of Louisville’s vicar for vocations and vocations director. For more information on vocations or discernment, contact him at mlinebach@archlou.org.
