Archbishop Shelton J. Fabre celebrated a special Mass of thanksgiving Sept. 15 at the Cathedral of the Assumption in honor of 142 couples in the Archdiocese of Louisville marking 30, 40, 50 and 60-plus years of marriage.
The 98 couples who were able to attend the midday liturgy renewed their commitment to one another and received certificates recognizing the occasion.
During his homily, Archbishop Fabre reflected on the nature of sacrificial love and on expressing love through action.
“I know that you are keenly aware that it’s not enough to express your love for your spouse in just words,” the archbishop said. “You show this love in action, in the way you give of yourself sacrificially. … Love is warm fuzzy, love is words but it’s also sacrificing for the benefit of the one who is loved. Is that not what Jesus showed us on the cross?”
He also told the congregation that the church and the archdiocese were blessed by their many years of marriage.
“I thank you for faithfully keeping your marriage covenant,” said the archbishop. “May God grant you many more years together.”
Among those celebrating a milestone anniversary this year are St. Stephen Martyr Church parishioners Deacon Sylvester and Joan Nitzken, marking 70 years of marriage. The couple didn’t attend the Mass due to Deacon Nitzken’s health. But they celebrated at home.
The couple were married on Sept. 25, 1954, three years after they were introduced by Joan Nitzken’s brother. She was 21 and Deacon Nitzken was 26.
During a recent interview in their home, the couple fondly recalled their life together.
“All the fellows I dated were all good fellows but they were all one year older than I was. Then all of a sudden my brother brought Syl home to show him our dog who had pups. We say we met over a basket of pups and we really did,” said Joan Nitzken.
Though Deacon Nitzken had a lot going for him, she said, her father wasn’t initially impressed.
“After a couple minutes, my Irish father said ‘watch him. He’s 23 years old. He’s out of school. He has a job. … ‘And he’s got a car. Now watch him. He’s been around the block once or twice,’ ” she said with a laugh. “But then they all loved him.”
Sitting in his favorite chair at home, Deacon Nitzken smiled as he listened to his wife recall their meeting more than seven decades ago.
When it was his turn to recount their meeting, he noted that what drew him to his wife was not only her beauty but the person she was.
“She was a wonderful Catholic girl and she was pretty, still is to me,” said Deacon Nitzken. “We just seem to pretty much have the same principles and thoughts.”
Their courtship lasted three years, which Joan Nitzken said was fine because she was busy building her career as a secretary in the telephone company. During those years, Deacon Nitzken worked as a teacher. He was also drafted to serve in the U.S. Army during the Korean War causing the couple to change the date of their wedding, he said.
During their long marriage, the couple celebrated many milestones, including Deacon Nitzken’s ordination to the diaconate in 1993. He’s served at St. Stephen Martyr since his ordination.
The couple welcomed five children — sons, Joe, Tom, John and Mike, and their youngest, a daughter, Mary, who was born with special needs, the couple said.
“Family means so much,” she said. Among the many things they’d discussed during their courtship was family and what they’d do if they had a special-needs child, said Joan Nitzken.
The answer, she said, was to love the child. And that’s what they did.
The Nitzkens founded and operated East Side Academy on Burnett Avenue in the early 70s so their daughter could have some of the high school experiences — such as a prom — her brothers did, she said. The academy remained open for five years and served about 12 children, including their daughter.
Joan Nitzken said when things got “rough” during the past 70 years, she leaned on their nuptial blessing.
“I’d call on that blessing, ‘Please God, I need that grace of our nuptial blessing,’ ” she said.
She credits their long marriage to three things, she said:
- Faith — “It’s the main thing we shared and kept us going.”
- Respect — “He’s the most respectful person.”
- Forgiveness — “Never go to bed mad.”
Deacon Nitzken added, “Prayer was one of the big factors in our lives. Padre Pio said ‘those who pray in the name of Jesus gain a special grace.’ I believe that.”
The couple celebrated their anniversary at home with their children, 10 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren.
