I didn’t know what to expect as I pulled into the driveway of the Ursuline Campus off Lexington Road. I had signed up for an overnight silent weekend retreat sponsored by the Angela Merici Center, something I had wanted to do for several years.
Now I was here, getting ready to meet the other retreatants and our leaders.
I had not told anyone except my husband about joining the retreat. I wasn’t embarrassed about my choice, but was aware of the reactions I would encounter:
“Why would you want to do that? I know I couldn’t do that?”
“There is no way you can be quiet for that long, I would go crazy.”
“Are you becoming Buddhist?”
What was necessary was the need for a break: a break from being a mother, a break from work, even a break from extended family and friends.
I had initially thought of a girls weekend getaway, but what I needed was peace and quiet, not late nights and endless conversation.
Those could be good things, but time to reflect was necessary. Ever since the children had come along it seemed like I was on a non-stop treadmill of cooking, cleaning, working and trying to keep everyone happy. A weekend of silence was the antithesis of my current life.
My excitement and courage began to waver as I approached the Ursuline Motherhouse. What if the retreat leaders confiscated my iPhone, my perceived lifeline to my world? If I did start chatting with others; would I be asked to leave? Could I really stay off Facebook for that long?
The first few minutes of our first meeting allayed all my fears. The idea was to be quiet, but no one was going to throw me out for talking. Ginny Schaeffer, the retreat director at the Angela Merici Center, shared her first silent retreat experience of driving into town to find someone to talk to after the third day.
Her humor put me at ease, as did the experiences of the other six retreatants. Their stories helped me realize that this retreat was about personal growth through silence; it was not a competition. More importantly my iPhone stayed with me.
Over that Saturday and Sunday, I had time to meet with a spiritual director, read, write, reflect and walk the grounds. Without the distractions and commitments of the daily routine, I found space to assess where I was in life.
I knew God had been with me through all of it, but somehow I needed reassurance that God would continue to be with me, and I received that.
That first retreat was in 2014; I repeated this experience in 2015 and hope to complete my third in 2016. Silent retreats are offered in early fall and late winter by the Angela Merici Center on the Sacred Heart Campus. See https://www.ursulinesisterslouisville.org/amc for more information.
Rose Devasia Anderson is a member of Our Lady of Lourdes Church.
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