Those who have prepared for the sacrament of marriage know that with the preparations come a list of decisions to be made — from the food to the flowers to the invitations.
Each to-do comes with its own stresses, but choosing the wedding party — the bridesmaids and the groomsmen — can be among the most difficult to navigate.
Between siblings and close cousins, grade school and high school companions, college roommates and coworkers, the list of contenders can get long. The stresses of disappointing or offending friends and family members who aren’t chosen can add to the difficulty.
To those facing this challenge, I’d like to offer a standard that can make the decision a little easier: Choose the people who will fight for your marriage.
While you could pick your wedding party based on who would, or would not be, offended if they weren’t chosen; or who would bring the fun to your bachelor or bachelorette party; or who included you in their wedding party — try to think beyond the wedding day and consider the years ahead.
The Catholic Church often offers us accompaniment as we enter into a sacrament. The baptized are given a godparent whose role is to help them lead a holy, Christian life and fulfill their Christian obligations. In confirmation, a sponsor, whose role is to help the confirmed live as a witness to Christ, is chosen.
While the wedding party is not obligated to help those wedded lead a Christian life or fulfill the obligations of the sacrament — technically, only two witnesses are required to attest to the legitimacy of the marriage (and even they aren’t given duties to help the couple live a Christian life) — it sure does help to have accompaniment and encouragement as you and your future spouse seek to be faithful to your vows.
Those in your wedding party will stand by your side as you enter a life-long covenant. So, consider which people will stick around as that covenant unfolds. Will your future kids recognize the faces of those beside you in your wedding photo album or will those friends only be associated with your college days?
Your wedding party should be the people you and your spouse can call on during the hardest days of your marriage. So, choose the friends who will help you persevere in your vows and encourage you as you live the Christian life.
Who will comfort you and your spouse in your sufferings — when the finances aren’t adding up, when diagnoses are given, when losses occur?
Who has you and your spouse’s good in mind — who doesn’t blindly “take your side” during an argument with your spouse, but who will fight on behalf of your marriage (and call you out when you’re in the wrong)?
Who will intercede for your marriage — who will pray for you and your future spouse leading up to the wedding day and in the days that follow?
Who will set positive examples for your children — the fruit of your marriage? (And who might be the same people you call a few months or years down the line to be your child’s godparent!)
So bring it to prayer. Who are the men and women in your lives who you’re confident will fight for your marriage?
In choosing your wedding party, pick people who will fight for your marriage
Those who have prepared for the sacrament of marriage know that with the preparations come a list of decisions to be made — from the food to the flowers to the invitations.
Each to-do comes with its own stresses, but choosing the wedding party — the bridesmaids and the groomsmen — can be among the most difficult to navigate.
Between siblings and close cousins, grade school and high school companions, college roommates and coworkers, the list of contenders can get long. The stresses of disappointing or offending friends and family members who aren’t chosen can add to the difficulty.
To those facing this challenge, I’d like to offer a standard that can make the decision a little easier: Choose the people who will fight for your marriage.
While you could pick your wedding party based on who would, or would not be, offended if they weren’t chosen; or who would bring the fun to your bachelor or bachelorette party; or who included you in their wedding party — try to think beyond the wedding day and consider the years ahead.
The Catholic Church often offers us accompaniment as we enter into a sacrament. The baptized are given a godparent whose role is to help them lead a holy, Christian life and fulfill their Christian obligations. In confirmation, a sponsor, whose role is to help the confirmed live as a witness to Christ, is chosen.
While the wedding party is not obligated to help those wedded lead a Christian life or fulfill the obligations of the sacrament — technically, only two witnesses are required to attest to the legitimacy of the marriage (and even they aren’t given duties to help the couple live a Christian life) — it sure does help to have accompaniment and encouragement as you and your future spouse seek to be faithful to your vows.
Those in your wedding party will stand by your side as you enter a life-long covenant. So, consider which people will stick around as that covenant unfolds. Will your future kids recognize the faces of those beside you in your wedding photo album or will those friends only be associated with your college days?
Your wedding party should be the people you and your spouse can call on during the hardest days of your marriage. So, choose the friends who will help you persevere in your vows and encourage you as you live the Christian life.
Who will comfort you and your spouse in your sufferings — when the finances aren’t adding up, when diagnoses are given, when losses occur?
Who has you and your spouse’s good in mind — who doesn’t blindly “take your side” during an argument with your spouse, but who will fight on behalf of your marriage (and call you out when you’re in the wrong)?
Who will intercede for your marriage — who will pray for you and your future spouse leading up to the wedding day and in the days that follow?
Who will set positive examples for your children — the fruit of your marriage? (And who might be the same people you call a few months or years down the line to be your child’s godparent!)
So bring it to prayer. Who are the men and women in your lives who you’re confident will fight for your marriage?
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