Don’t worry, for you can be reconciled. Sirach 22:22
This week I celebrate the birthdays of my two brothers — Mark last Friday and Gary today. The three of us are all so different that it is sometimes hard to imagine that we came from the same source.
I think I’ve said it before, but I am probably more like my youngest brother Mark than my younger brother Gary. That should scare Mark and comfort Gary. I know I have Mark’s drive. I just wish I had Gary’s patience.
I feel more confident in comparing us to our parents than to each other. Gary is more like my mother and Mark more like my Dad. Mark once said that I have the best of both my father and my mother. I don’t know how true it is, but Mark can be quite perceptive, so I’ll take it as a compliment while I can get it.
With my two brothers and four sisters (Brenda, Lois, Nancy and Kaye) in mind today, I would like to write about sibling relationships, something that I have come to understand are not universally amiable.
Some siblings hardly know each other; some siblings really don’t care for each other; some siblings just can’t get along; and some siblings are locked in outright warfare.
I can say, in all truth, that my siblings and I are close and I don’t remember any of us ever having any serious personality collisions. I believe we are close because we give each other space to be who we are without constricting expectations.
I suppose the best proof I have is that my sister, Lois, and I were able to navigate settling my Dad’s estate without one disagreement and with a bit of humor.
I still remember the day we all gathered at the house to divide up all the contents left behind. In my most solemn tone, something I had rehearsed with Lois, I looked at all of them and took a deep breath: “I suppose you are wondering why Dad chose Lois and me to be co-executors!”
After a nice serious pause, I continued: “Obviously, he liked us more than you!” After that sunk in, we all had a good long laugh.
What I would like to say to my readers is this. If you are not on speaking terms with one of your siblings, get off your silly, childish high horse and reach out to them while you can.
I don’t care who did what, who said what or who’s fault you think it was, get over it and move on. The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.
Do it today! Remember the words of the great poet John Greenleaf Whittier: “For of all sad words of tongue or men, the saddest are these: ‘It might have been!’ ”
To read more from Father Knott, visit his blog: FatherKnott.com.
