Let your compassion come to me. Psalm 119:77
Fifteen years ago, when I started writing this weekly column, I did so with the intention in mind to simply keep an eye out for ordinary people that I could affirm and lift up for encouragement. That’s 15 years of intentional observation and encouragement!
Because I travel a lot leading priest retreats, mostly in the U.S., Canada and the Caribbean, one of my favorite places to focus my gaze for ideas is an airport. I am averaging 13 trips a year, so with multiple connections sometimes, that is a lot of airports.
As I was sitting in the Canadian airport in Calgary, British Columbia, recently, I decided to focus on the older man who cleaned the men’s restroom. I asked myself what it would be like to have to come to that job day in and day out. Not only does he have a nasty job, but he is invisible to the men coming and going.
He never looked up and they never looked at him. He was obviously an immigrant. He probably did the job, not because he wanted a job like that, but because he needed it to support his family.
I shook my head as I thought of those who are bitter at such people for “taking jobs away from Americans.” He was certainly not a young man, so he may have been doing it for years. Before I left, I made eye contact and thanked him. He looked shocked.
Airplane seats are getting narrower and narrower, so you regularly notice seething resentment that larger-than-average people get when they come down the aisle of a plane. Recently, I had an empty seat in a crowded corner.
I thought I had inherited bonus room until I heard the flight attendant say, “We have a late-arriving passenger coming down now!” I thought to myself, “Oh, God, he is going to sit right here.” And he did and he was obese.
I decided to take a compassionate approach. I pulled up the arm rest and said to him, “What can I do to make you more comfortable?” I even motioned to the flight attendant that he might need a seat belt extender so he would not have to ask for it. He looked so relieved.
I don’t always pay attention to such situations, but I am trying to train myself to do it more often. Consciously deciding to change my focus helps other people. It also helps me relieve stress when I am able to choose to look at the needs of others, rather than my own.
I have found that walking in another’s shoes can actually help me forget just how tight my own are.
