A Time to Speak – Can you imagine aging as a blessing?

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Dr. Jane Thibault

Genesis 6:3 Then the Lord said: “My spirit shall not remain in man forever, since he is but flesh. His days shall comprise one hundred and twenty years.”

An old Jewish birthday blessing says, “May you live to be 120!”

Until about 15 years ago such a “blessing” was amusing — no one imagined that modern people could live that long. However recent research indicates that 120 is actually our “natural” God-given lifespan.

And — due in part to better nutrition and health care — the gift of 120 years may soon become common. Today people 80 and older are the fastest-growing age group in the U.S. There are more people 100 and older living healthy and enjoyable lives (called super-centenarians) than ever before.

The oldest validated supercentenarian was 122 year-old Jeanne Callemant of France who died a few years ago, living in good health until about 6 months before her death. (She stopped smoking at age 95!)

When asked in interviews if they would be grateful for 120 years, a few people will say they’d like to know their great, great, great grandchildren or how the world is going to turn out. Most respond with an adamant “No!” or “It depends on my quality of life.”

Many don’t want to burden their families with caregiving duties; it’s difficult for them to imagine an old age filled with purpose and a zest for life despite infirmities.

If you received a birthday card that said “May you live to be 120,” would you consider it a birthday blessing or curse? Does it “depend” on something? If you answered “blessing,” why? If “curse,” why? If you said, “It depends,” what do you need to be able to say “Yes?”

What was once considered an amusing blessing is now a serious question — how can we respond to the gift of 120 years if it is offered?
In our youth-oriented society, old age is feared as a time of diminishment, powerlessness, loss and pain. Most people ignore their aging for as long as possible.

However, many others report being happier in their late life than people in their teens and 20’s. Yes, there is often diminishment — failing eyesight and hearing, difficulty moving, chronic illness and pain, loss of friends — all events that may cause suffering. Under those circumstances, 120 years can seem far too long to endure.

But If God has given us the potential to live with meaning, zest, purpose and gratitude for 120 years, what can we do to transform our fear or experience of suffering from curse to blessing? Here is a suggestion you might want to try:

Imagine that you have just written a letter to God, asking God to heal you from the suffering that interferes with your living a “normal” life. For example, imagine that your doctor has just advised you not to drive due to poor eyesight.

You feel angry and other negative emotions flood over you as you envision your future life. This is NOT what you had planned, not the way you want to spend your retirement years. You beg God to hear your prayer for improved sight.

Imagine God responding with this message:

Dear One,

I have gifted you throughout your life with people who love you, with beautiful vistas, warm comforts, interesting work, and pleasures both great and small. You have known me through these gifts. Perhaps you have loved the gifts more than you have loved me.

I totally understand; my creation is wonderful indeed, and I don’t fault you for this. Now, however, as you draw closer to the end of your life, I would like you to know me more intimately, to sense how deeply I love you even before we meet fact-to-face.

I want to give you the source of all the gifts you have ever received ­— the gift of myself. I want you to know me as I am — as love itself. I am asking you to re-interpret the natural diminishments and losses that come with age as a way to transcend all your barriers to my love for you.

Try to use this time to prepare yourself to receive the gift of all gifts — joy with me for all eternity. Know that I am with you and will help you in the midst of all your loss and pain, and I will be with you always. Come to me and be with me.

Love, God

Can you imagine receiving a message like this from God? Could you attempt to interpret the negative changes of age as a way to draw closer to God? Could 120 years — no matter what happened to you — be a blessing instead of a curse?

Dr. Jane Thibault is a clinical professor emerita of geriatrics and gerontology in the Department of Family and Geriatric Medicine at the University of Louisville School of Medicine, where she taught for 33 years. She also serves on the Archdiocese of Louisville’s committee on retired priests.

Dr. Jane M. Thibault

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