On July 12, the Church celebrated the feast of Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin, a married couple declared saints by Pope Francis in 2015, becoming the first couple to be canonized together.
The couple experienced the sufferings of family life, including the loss of four children, but persevered in their vocation, raising five girls who, one by one, entered the convent. One of these girls was St. Therese of Lisieux, who Pope Pius X claimed was “the greatest saint of modern times.”
When my husband and I had the opportunity to travel abroad, we flew into Paris and took a train to the little town of Lisieux to visit the tombs of this heroic family of saints. They had become favorites of ours, partly because the Martins both discerned religious vocations before entering into the sacrament of marriage.
I never thought the Lord would make me holy through the sacrament of matrimony. While I desired married life growing up, I definitely didn’t view marriage with rose-colored glasses. To be honest, the idea of “putting up” with someone else’s weaknesses and failings seemed largely unattractive. I wanted the easy way out. I wanted to be a holy woman — very badly — but, I didn’t want all the sufferings that come with the vocation of matrimony.
The idea of religious life seemed much more attractive. Marrying Jesus seemed like a much better idea — Jesus wouldn’t forget to put his dishes in the dishwasher or steal the sheets. I would be spared the pains of childbirth and the stresses of figuring out how to pay for my kids’ college.
So, I began to pursue religious life. I visited several religious orders and talked with many vocation directors. About a year later, I sat down with my spiritual director, puzzled as to why I felt so restless in each of my “come and see” visits, and why the thought of marriage continually came up in prayer, even though I had sworn it off.
In religious circles, we often hear about discerning one’s vocation. The question I was often asked to ponder was, “Is the Lord calling me to be a religious sister?” I spent many hours in the chapel begging the Lord to reveal this answer, and beat this question to a pulp in prayer. But, I don’t think I ever pondered the question, “Is the Lord calling me to be a wife?”
In the church, we speak about answering the call to religious life. But we speak less often about answering the call to marriage.
During that meeting with my spiritual director, he encouraged me to ponder the married vocation. It wasn’t long after that I went on my first date with my now husband.
One of my favorite items in our home rests on our mantle. It is an icon of St. Joachim and St. Anne, the grandparents of Jesus, in an embrace. I bought it as a Christmas gift for my husband when we were dating long distance, but it gave me so much consolation in pursuing marriage that I could not bear to let it go when we were reunited that winter. In the image, you cannot help but meditate on the love between the saintly couple — the love that would create the Blessed Virgin.
In a world where divorce is common, and living for oneself is celebrated, answering the call to marriage can be just as noble a task as answering the call to the convent.
The Lord is making saints. He is making saints in the seminary. He is making saints in the cloister. He is making saints in the convent. And he is making saints in the home.
If we look hard enough at the communion of saints, we see that not all saints wear a white collar or a religious habit. Some wear blue jeans. Some wear aprons. Some wear work uniforms.
The Lord has made each of our hearts fit for our particular vocation. And it is in submitting to God’s will that we find our delight and our sanctification.
Special graces are given to those the Lord calls to religious vows — vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. And special graces are given to those the Lord calls to make marriage vows — vows of total, free, faithful, fruitful love.
We pray frequently for an increase in vocations to the religious life and priesthood, as we should. But, we should also pray for an increase in holy Catholic marriages.
In each vocation, the faithful find a path to sanctity. In loving my husband, I love Christ. In being loved by my husband, I am being loved by Christ.
Yes, marriage comes with its daily crosses. But, it also comes with abundant joy and sacramental grace.
Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin, pray for us. All you holy married men and women, pray for us.
Olivia Castlen is a reporter for The Record and a member of St. Louis Bertrand Church.
