An Encouraging Word – Hanging on for dear life

Father J. Ronald Knott
Father J. Ronald Knott

Frequent the company of the elders. Sirach 6:34

I am a regular visitor to several nursing homes in the city of Louisville. I go to the Episcopal Church Home every Sunday. I stop in at Nazareth Home quite often and sometimes at Sacred Heart Home. I help out at special celebrations at St. Joseph Home for the Aged operated by the Little Sisters of the Poor.

I always leave inspired by both residents and staff, with a prayer on my lips that I will never need to be there beyond being a visitor.

First, my heart goes out to the residents. As one who has taught courses on other life transitions, I know that all such transitions are hard. But the transition from the independence of owning one’s own home into the dependence of assisted living and finally into full-time nursing care has to be the hardest of all, no matter how “nice” the nursing home brochures paint it up to be.

When I talk to those I visit, I am inspired by their bravery and courage. They seldom “let on” just how hard it is, but if you pay close attention for cues, you can hear in their voices, in their choice of words and in their eyes that they are hanging on for dear life, sometimes by the skin of their false teeth.

They live in a limbo world of reminiscing over the “good old days” and dreading “what’s ahead of them.” It’s very seldom about “today,” but more often than not about “yesterday” and “tomorrow.” “Today” is usually about “getting through it.”

I try to offer a kiss and wave goodbye, but I leave overwhelmed with admiration at their courage and respect for their bravery.

Next, my heart goes out to the staff who bathe the patients, dress them, feed them, help them get around and listen to their complaints, requests and repetitive conversations.

The patience, composure and endurance of the staff amazes me. What they have to smell and look at in a day’s time, week in and week out, year in and year out, is something most of us could not handle for an hour.

They do what they do with low pay, little appreciation and high expectations.

My heart goes out, last of all, to the dedicated volunteers that I run into — generous people who give of their time, talent and treasure simply because they love God and God’s people, especially the vulnerable elderly. They are the ones who help take the edge off of long days by offering entertainment, special celebrations, crafts and conversation.

Many start off helping their own parents and siblings, but end up staying on long after they are gone. They often serve as the cheer leading squad for the residents and staff.

I know it is trite to say it, but I always get more out of my visits that I am able to give. Nursing homes are schools where visitors can learn through observation such virtues as courage, patience, gratitude and loving service.

To read more from Father Knott, visit his blog: FatherKnott.com.

Father J. Ronald Knott

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